2016. Dawne and me, just being us. I’d give anything for one more ordinary afternoon like this. Some photos don’t just capture a moment—they keep part of a life close. ❤️
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I have spent a lot of time building this application, but somewhere along the way I realized I was building more than software. I was building a place for stories. The technology matters. The database matters. The architecture matters. The pages have to load, the links have to work, the publishing system has to be reliable, and the application has to be able to grow. But none of those things are the reason I...
My stroke did not end when I left the hospital. That may be one of the hardest things to explain about surviving one. There is the emergency itself, and then there is everything that comes afterward—the work of figuring out what changed, what may improve, what still needs to be retrained, and what may simply become part of your new normal. I still live with lasting effects. There is weakness and stiffness on...
On August 4, 2026, I had a TLIF spinal fusion at L4-L5. TLIF stands for Transforaminal Lumbar Interbody Fusion. In simple terms, the procedure was performed to stabilize the L4-L5 level of my lower spine. The surgery involves placing an interbody cage and bone graft between the vertebrae, along with screws and rods that provide stability while the bones have time to fuse. Reading about spinal fusion is one thin...
I wanted to share this graphic because it gives a clear look at what happens during a TLIF at L4-L5. TLIF stands for Transforaminal Lumbar Interbody Fusion. The procedure is designed to stabilize the segment between the L4 and L5 vertebrae while also creating more room for compressed nerves. The first view shows the lower lumbar spine from the side and highlights a degenerative, collapsed L4-L5 disc space. Chan...
I have joked more than once that I outkicked my coverage with Dawne, and this photograph makes the case better than I ever could. We were dressed for a formal evening, standing beneath the warm light of crystal chandeliers, and somehow she still managed to make everything around her look secondary. Dawne has that kind of presence. She can walk into an elegant room without needing the room to announce her. I am...
Contributors
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Joey Montes
@jrm
Father. Widower. Survivor. Founder. Still here. Still building. Still breathing.
Articles
5 resultsArticle
Building Wildwood: The Application, the New Brand, and a Longer Story Ahead
Wildwood began as a collection of pages and ideas and gradually became a complete publishing application. This is the story of building the platform, separating posts, stories and articles into distinct systems, refining the technology behind it, and creating a new LIFE. identity built around one red thread connecting people, ideas, places and stories.
Article
I Wish I Hadn't Seen It: PTSD, Grief, and Learning to Live With What Happened
My PTSD grew out of the trauma surrounding Dawne's death and what I endured trying to resuscitate her. I spent years wishing other people could understand what I had seen and experienced. Eventually, peace began when I stopped trying to make anyone else carry it with me and allowed one simple truth to be enough: I wish I had never seen or experienced that.
Article
Preparing for TLIF Fusion Surgery: What to Know, Why Preparation Matters, and What to Expect
TLIF fusion is a major lumbar spine procedure, and preparation can make the experience easier to understand and manage. This guide explains what TLIF is, why preparation matters, how to get ready for surgery, what to expect in the hospital, and what the early stages of recovery may involve.
Article
What Is TLIF? Understanding L4-L5 Transforaminal Lumbar Interbody Fusion
TLIF stands for Transforaminal Lumbar Interbody Fusion. This illustrated guide explains the L4-L5 procedure, including decompression, pedicle screws and rods, an interbody cage, bone graft, and the goal of creating a stable spinal fusion.
Article
TLIF L4-L5 Spinal Fusion: Surgery, Recovery, and the Road Forward
On August 4, 2026, I underwent a TLIF spinal fusion at L4-L5. This is a personal look at what the procedure involves, why surgeons use it, how fusion develops, and what recovery can look like after major lumbar spine surgery.
Stories
5 resultsStory
LIFE. After Dawne: The Story Behind the New Brand
The new LIFE. identity grew out of something deeply personal. Losing Dawne changed the direction of my life, but it did not erase the life we shared or end my own story. The red thread represents connection across time: love, grief, recovery, people, places, memories and whatever comes next. Same thread. Different horizons.
Story
The Things I Wish I Had Never Seen: PTSD, Loss, Stroke, and Finding Peace
Losing Dawne was devastating, but the trauma of trying to resuscitate her left another wound entirely. PTSD affected me physically, psychologically, and emotionally. I lost more than 100 pounds, stopped caring for myself, lost hope, questioned my faith and worth, and later suffered a stroke. Peace finally began when I stopped trying to make anyone else fully understand what I had witnessed and allowed one sentence to be enough: I wish I had never seen or experienced that.
Story
Learning to Live With Grief: Dawne, Healing, and Finding Peace
Losing Dawne changed the shape of my life. Grief did not follow a schedule, and neither did healing. Over time, and even while dealing with the effects of a stroke, I learned that grieving was not something I needed to defeat. I needed to allow myself to feel it, carry it, and eventually make room for peace beside it.
Story
Learning to Walk Forward Again: Preparing for TLIF After a Stroke
Walking became an important part of preparing for my L4-L5 TLIF fusion, but after my stroke it was no longer automatic. Persistent left-side weakness, stiffness, visual impairment, and the need to retrain my left leg changed every mile into both physical preparation and neurological practice.
Story
The Miles Before Surgery: Walking 8–10 Miles a Day Before My TLIF Fusion
Before my L4-L5 TLIF fusion on August 4, 2026, I made walking a major part of preparing myself physically and mentally for surgery. On many days, I walked eight to ten miles—not because everyone facing spine surgery should do the same, but because it was something I could do, and it became part of how I prepared for what was ahead.
